Tree Friend Comedy Montage
Tree Friend Comedy Montage is a montage of funny clips. The Moments Content Warning Pierce voices a content warning he made himself. Bold indicates something that's true. Italics indicates something that is partially true/hinted at. Things that are struck through are not true. Pierce: "WARNING: This montage MAY contain excessive amounts of immaturity, violence, gore, bad language, racism, sexism, extremely high-pitched noises, strange people, clowns, randomness, Hurricane Ike, dog feces, your grandmother, ugly curtains, flying turtles, Jackie Chan, rashes on uncomfortable areas, the apocalypse, and a partially true content advisory warning. Some of these may be offensive to people viewing. If you're faint of heart, an over-zealous parent who will send hate mail for seeing any mature content, or a bitchasspussy, we strongly advise you not to watch this. Also, if you are under the age of 13, we strongly advise you ask your fucking parents. Mondo Media is a man animation studio for big kids only, you kids should go home and play with your underdeveloped dicks. Knock Knock Pierce is trying to flirt wih Melody Melancholy. Pierce: Hey baby, knock knock, who's there? Sex. Sex who? Sex with me. *Sunglasses spontaneously appear over his eyes and he has a cigar in his mouth* BOOM! Mel: Oohhh, that's so romantic! Call me- Pierce: Whatever. Zombie Cancer Pranky tries to talk to Britton. Pranky: Doctor, my sister has cancer... Britt looks disappointed. Pranky: ZOMBIE CANCER! Britt: Hahaha, yeah! *High fives Pranky* Britt and Pranky proceed to shoot down two zombies. I am Meleeing its Legs! Part 1 Elizabeth is planning to take down a huge monster. Beth: OK, it's going to take a lot of fire power to take this thing down, so... Oh goddammit, Splendid, what the hell are you doing?! Splendid is hitting the monster repeatedly in the leg. Splendid: I am meleeing its legs! Beth: As I was saying, you're just going to piss it off. The monster roars. Splendid: I got it right where I want it! Beth sighs. Country Rock: The Revenge Pierce plays a few notes on his guitar, but then hears a few banjo notes, the same notes as his. Pierce repeats the notes, only to hear the banjo again. Howdy then runs up to Pierce with his banjo in hand. Pierce strums a few notes and Howdy does the same. They then start playing faster and harder, trying to play each other off. Howdy then strums all the strings in his banjo, causing big stereos o come out of the ground. Pierce only has time to say "WHAT THE FU-" before a huge explosion happens. I'm enjoying a treat, Derpsie! Derpsie curls up into a ball, next to Ale, who turned into Alice while eating a twinkie. Derpsie: Hey, Alice! :D Alice: What do you want, Derpsie?! Derpsie: I look like a hush puppy. :3 *A picture of a dog in a swimming pool appears* Hey, Alice! Whatcha doin'? Alice: DERPSIE!!! Derpsie: Hey, Alice, hey! :D Alice: DERPSIE!!! Derpsie: *turned into Navi for a little bit* Hey! :D Alice: I'M ENJOYING A TREAT, DERPSIE!!! Derpsie: Can you share? ._. Is it for your face? Britt is sulking in front of Melody. Britt: Dammit, I forgot to take my medication this morning... Mel: Is it for your face? Britt: No... The one for my self-esteem... Mel: You're not taking anything for your face? She's... what?! Cub is walking around while Pop is reading the newspaper, with cheerful music in the background. Cub: Daaaaaaad, I'm hungryyyyy... T_T Pop: *Chuckles, then lowers the paper* Tell your mum to make you a sammich. *Raises the newspaper* Cub: Well, she's not in the kitchen... The music stops with a record scratch, then Pop dramatically lowers his paper. Pop: She's... what?! Asian Parents Part 1 Sekai: Mom, can I see my boyfriend? "Mother" (Really Sekai squinting her eyes with a hat on speaking with the stereotypical Asian accent): Mudda assho, what I tell you?! No boyfriend 'til you marry! Sekai: (Suddenly speakes like her mom) Mom, that's the bullshit! >_< Thrift Shop Pierce is trying to sing the Thrift Shop song. Pierce: Welcome to the club, I say "What up, I got a big-" Pierce stops, and takes his sunglasses off, implying he's not "big." Pierce: FUCK! Britt's Stories Part 1 Britt: So I was walking down the street, and there was this dog licking its buttocks. It sees me and goes: (Britt imitates a dog's panting) Britt: Get the fuck out of my way, bitch. -_- Useless Customer Support Pranky is shown with headphones on with a microphone attached, speaking in a make believe foreign accent (sounds Indian). Pranky: Hello, you have Mr. Portell on the line, how may I help you? :D It cuts to Britt talking into his cell phone. Britt: You see, the problem is- (Cuts back to Pranky) Pranky: Sorry, I cannot help you. :D The Most Disgusting Thing Swift: The most disgusting thing... Swift makes an incredibly stupid/ugly looking face, picking his own nose, It cuts to him having his finger out of his nose, then looking side to side, with the same face. It then cuts to him licking the finger he picked his nose with, with the same face. Swift: ...Why...? ಥ_ಥ "So you don't like me." Josh: So, you don't like me. *He starts laughing, then he takes off his glasses and points to the viewer as if the viewer was just joking, then he slides his hand over his face, and his smile turns into a face of unamusement* I-don't-give-a-FUUUUUUUUUCK. TMI from Britton Part 1 Britt and Trippy are looking at a clip from Geese of the Internet where Trippy gets tickled and then explodes from laughter. Britt: What?! H-How am I supposed to do the same to you now?! Trippy: Uh... It's an SFX personification of what I feel like... And why would you care or consider doing it- Britt: *Folds up his chair and lifts it up* DON'T FUCKING JUDGE ME!!! D"8< *About to swing it on Trippy's head* Trippy: MOMMYYYY- D"X Fuck my (Quaker's) Life Mel has a bowl of Life cereal. She pours the milk, only to accidentally spill it on the table. Mel: Fuck my life... Disco Bear appears out of nowhere and dry-humps the cereal box for a few seconds. Disco Bear: You're welcome. >8) She Wants the D Part 1 Disco Bear walks up to Elizabeth on the sidewalk. Disco Bear: Hey, baby, I'mma flip a coin, and whatever I land on, that's what I get. >:3 Beth: *Chuckles* :P Okay- *Realizes that coins are either "Head" or "Tail"* EW, NO!!! >:( *Slaps him across the face* I am Meleeing its Legs! Part 2 Splendid: I believe the beast is weakening! *Keeps hitting the monster in the leg* Do you not see the fear in its eyes?! The monster is about to attack. Beth: Oh my god- Splendid, watch out, it's gonna-! The monster falls to the side, dead. Splendid: HUZZAH!!! Take that, you gaylord! Beth: Oh, son of a- Short Songs Part 1 Beth: *Singing* Have you ever had that dream... of reaching for the balls? :D She Wants The D Part 2 Disco Bear approaches Petunia. Disco Bear: I got a mistletoe! *Holds it over his head* As Petunia is about to kiss him, he steps onto a bench, and holds the mistletoe over his crotch. Disco Bear: There you go! Petunia: EW, GROSS!!! *She punches him in the crotch really hard* Disco Bear: AAAAAAAAH- *Suddenly forgets the pain* SHE WANT THE D! >:D She Wants The D Part 3 Disco Bear approaches Giggles. Disco Bear: Excuse me, do you think I can get some... *Strokes a mannequin head* Giggles: ....What? *Realizes he means he wants some "head" and she knows what he means by "head* Ew, gross! *Shoves him away* Disco Bear: *Has a manical smile on his face, laughing like a Frenchman* Honhonhonhonhon! >:D Foreign Exchange Students A Tiger Soldier stands in front of an iron gate. TS: The grounds are currently closed. Pranky and Jerky walk up to him. Pranky: Aww, man! That totally sucks! (*A bus is shown behind them*) Pranky: And we came all the way out here with these foreign exchange students on a field trip to Vietnam! TS: Where from? (*The windows of the bus open and a bunch of guns pop out*) Pranky: Texas! *Snaps his fingers and all the guns shoot the TS down, turning him into mincemeat* Aww, shit. Looks like we need more prayers in school. Viagra Pranky: *Being held down by two Tiger Soldiers in a building* What you do... is you go down to the local pharmacy, ask for something called "Viagra", AND IT'LL HELP YA GO FUCK YOURSELF! Pierce Thinks Dynamite Hack is Heavy Metal. Pierce: *Voiced by Britt in a deep, stupid voice* Britt, hey Britt, is Dynamite Hack heavy metal? *Sticks up his middle finger* Hey suck a dick hey derr (*Britt slowly emerges from behind his computer chair*) Britt: No, they're not, Pierce! You're, like, the dumbest fucking metalhead I've ever talked to! "ERRRGH IS THIS A METAL SONG? IS THAT A METAL SONG?" I fucking hate you, Pierce! I FUCKING HATE YOU!!! (*Britt throws his chair at Pierce's head, turning Pierce's neck into a fountain of blood as Britt breaks into a metal song*) Britt: "BOYZ IN THE HOOD" IS NOT A METAL SONG! NEITHER IS "DEAR KATE" OR "G-FORCE"! SO IS NOT "ANYWAY"! BUT I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING! *Stops shouting and speaks in a neutral tone* You can suck my dick. Sliding in an Insult Britt: Hahaha, you're so funny- you look so much like cheese, it is ridiculous! How are you? Mistaken for Child Abuser Pop: One time, my son had a black eye, because he walked into a door. He's stupid. So, I took him out for ice cream, and when I got there, everyone looked at us and they gave me a dirty look. And then I realize, they think I hit him, and that's why he had a black eye and I was taking him out for ice cream! And I was so insulted, I went "Hey, fuck all of you, okay?! He's like, this big! You think if I hit him he'd have a black eye?! He'd be fucking decimated! There'd be nothing left! Look at this shit, I would ruin his head with one punch! Easily! He has no defensive skills, he fucking sucks! He'd just be smiling at me... *Imitating an impact sound effect while thrusting his fist forward* There'd be just... He'd just be dead there like a fucking bomb went off!" When you're late for class because you had to stay in cooking class to clean up Britt: Why, YES, I am late! But while I'' was being trained in the art of making chicken quasadillas, 'YOU'RE STILL SUCKLING ON YOUR MOMMA'S TEETS FOR SUSTENANCE.''' (Yes, there will be more.) Category:Montages